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🎭 Why Do We Self-Sabotage Even When We Want to Be Loved?

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There’s a moment in BoJack Horseman —before the show goes full existential spiral—when you realize you’re not just watching a cartoon about a washed-up celebrity horse. You’re watching yourself. Your coping mechanisms. Your inner critic. Your desperate need for validation. As I write this, I’m only 2 episodes into Season 1 (rewatching), and already I’m asking, again: Why do we self-sabotage... even when all we want is love? 💔 Section 1: The BoJack Effect — Why This Cartoon Feels Too Real Bright colors, talking animals, and a deep dive into depression? That contrast hits hard. BoJack is lonely, insecure, and self-absorbed—but not evil. He just can’t get out of his own way. Early episodes show a clear pattern: push people away, then blame the world. 🧠 Section 2: What is Self-Sabotage, Really? It’s not just “ruining your own life for fun”—it’s a defense mechanism. A protection from: Rejection (“If I ruin it, at least it was on my terms.”) Vulnerability (“Getting close to pe...
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Healing While Performing: The Girl Who Glows & Crashes

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 image creds: pinterest (@aerdnea) Being tired isn’t the problem — it’s pretending I’m not. I curled myself into a ball on the cold bathroom floor and sobbed. My phone lay forgotten on the toilet seat, while silent tears cascaded down my cheeks. My voice was trapped in my throat. The anguish echoed in my mind, but never broke free physically. Next thing I know, I’m on my bed, held in my friend’s arms, being soothed with comforting words about how he was a waste of three months, how he never deserved a relationship with me, how he was chopped anyway. The next morning, I’m concealing puffy eyes, headphones in, revising for the last stretch of exams, pretending to be okay to kill the dread that hasn’t left my chest. My heart is heavy. We ball though, right? As a healing perfectionist, I’ve always been hungry. Hungry to fulfill the role of the responsible girl, the high achiever, the pretty one, the one who can handle it. Especially as a girl raised in an African household — where a...
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